On the eight day of Christmas Beholder gave to me 8 MAIDS A MILKING, 7 LORDS A SKIMMING, 6 FAKERS PRAYING – 5 FALLEN KINGS !!! – 4 RANCID TURDS, 3 BEST FRIENDS, 2 STINKIN GLOVES and a DOWNLOAD SINGLE FOR FREE.

On the eight day of Christmas Beholder gave to me 8 MAIDS A MILKING, 7 LORDS A SKIMMING, 6 FAKERS PRAYING – 5 FALLEN KINGS !!! – 4 RANCID TURDS, 3 BEST FRIENDS, 2 STINKIN GLOVES and a DOWNLOAD SINGLE FOR FREE.

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In fact we’re only focusing on the one maid – Kate Middleton – who really should have milked her man, wiped it on the tapestry curtains, and not took hold of his demon seed!  The country now has to face up to nine months of banging the royal drum and speculation from the press along with the inevitable “what they gonna call it” – we’d like to offer up the suggestions of Damien, Kthulu or “The one with the extremely large forehead”.

 

In fact Ms Middleton herself has reportedly called for surgeons to “cut this monster out of me” stating “I can feel it gestating inside me, a malformed abomination wrought from centuries of inbreeding and an ancient pact of unspeakable evil.”

http://www.theonion.com/articles/cut-this-monster-out-of-me,30602

 

The readers of OK Magazine, Vogue and Vanity Fair may be hanging on to every word from the palace but frankly we couldn’t give a fuck less.   

 

Yet who was this vision – this victim – so taunted in life

Silently screaming in torment – stranded alone

Holding her hands out believing that someone will hear

A mother, a sister a daughter – a withering rose

Lyrics from THE TALE OF ELEANOR GREY (The Order Of Chaos)

 

Profit Of The Lie and Toxic Nation (Live at Bloodstock Open Air) GET YOUR FREE COPY NOW – http://beholder.bandcamp.com

Taken from ‘The Order Of Chaos’ available on Razorline Records for pre-order on Jan 4th 2013 from beholder.bigcartel.com with official release on Feb 1st.

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One response

  1. Joe

    “cut this monster out of me” stating “I can feel it gestating inside me, a malformed abomination wrought from centuries of inbreeding and an ancient pact of unspeakable evil.” has made my sides need surgery to attach them back together HAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    December 20, 2012 at 7:32 pm

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